You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
