Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
please come you make the beer taste better
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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