you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
