I just cut my nipple shaving
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
