just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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