I look better un-naked...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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