now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
