Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
