Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
