Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
