trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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