The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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