So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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