I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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