Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
