so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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