What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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