but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
