I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
