hell yes lets make some ravioli
too bad you live with your parents still
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
