Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
