Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
