You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
