I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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