His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
