never play flip cup with pint glasses
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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