ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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