i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
