no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
