On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize