I hope mine doesn't look like that
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sext me about skeletons
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
