You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
