If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
