PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I will die if light touches me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
