Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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