Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
