remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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