i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
