I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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