Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
