you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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