R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Floor bacon is actually really good
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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