I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
