did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I touched a dick in church today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
