How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
