I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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