Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
