Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
