remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
