Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
