Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
