so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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