you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and she was petting her beer can
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize