shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
