using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm having to shit out rocks
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