Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
