Yo dont text me then not text me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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