Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize