Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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