This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
