I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Are my feet made of real feet?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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