when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
