Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize